“Work in the corporate” is many of ours dream,

For AZ,that is my theme.

Just for this time of the year,entire corporate world looks forward.The reason being,the #Hike in the paycheck 🙂 Lets see the thoughts of the #Employee to the #Employer to know whats up this time.

 

Hard work

to try reaching targets (et al),

finally delivered result, no orders defied.

Jeepers!!

Defied orders, no result delivered finally,

Late targets reaching, try to

work hard

(Palindrome form of poetry used)

[*The palindrome word ‘et al’ used for ‘late’ is a Latin word which means ‘and others’ in similar to etc.]
 

Would like to hear back about your ideas and experiences about how to deal with this kind of a situation.

And just a moment,this is the experience of one of my colleague 😉


Big Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding. So, your rating is “average”.

UMA: What? How come ‘average’?

Big Boss: Because…err. ..uhh…you lack domain knowledge.

UMA: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a domain consultant.

Big Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has eroded this year.

UMA: What???

Big Boss: Yes, I didn’t see you sharing knowledge on Purchasing domain.

UMA: Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing.

Big Boss: This is what I don’t like about you. You give excuse for everything.

UMA: Huh? Confused

Big Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills.

UMA: Like what? I am the one who trained the team on “Business Communication”, you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember?

Big Boss: Oh is it? Errr…well. .I mean, you need to improve your Social Pragmatic Affirmative Communication.

UMA: Huh? What the hell is that? Confused

Big Boss: See! That’s why you need to learn about it.

UMA: head spinning

Big Boss: Next, you need to sharpen your recruiting skills. All the guys you recruited left within 2 months.

UMA: Well, not my mistake. You told them you will sit beside them and review their code, and most resigned the next day itself. Couple of them even attempted suicide.

Big Boss: stunned (recovers from shock) Err…anyway, I tried to give you a better rating, but our Normalization process gave you only ‘average’.

UMA: Last year that process gave me ‘excellent’. This year just ‘average’? Why is this process pushing me up and down every year?

Big Boss: That’s a complicated process. You don’t want to hear.

UMA: I’ll try to understand. Go ahead.

Big Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names of sub-ordinates in bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever lands on the floor gets ‘average’, whichever lands on table gets ‘good’, whichever we manage to catch gets ‘excellent’ and whichever gets stuck to ceiling gets ‘outstanding’.

UMA: (eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets ‘poor’ rating?

Big Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down.

UMA: What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for ‘outstanding’?

Big Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old organizational process!

UMA: faints

 

(Note : UMA – U , Me or Anyone)

 

Advertisement